Hanna's Home

Let the games begin

We've had Hanna at home for just a week now and already notice so much change.  She has a million facial expressions, each very distinct. She is filling out quickly, her neck is strengthening and she loves tummy time.

And, she already knows how to undo her diaper.  Yes, that's right. I checked on her yesterday and her diaper was undone on the left side. So, I did it back up and returned 10 minutes later to see it undone again. This time, the evidence remained... the diaper tab was clenched in her tiny fist, a faint smile on her face. She did the same thing today.

Seven days old and the games have begun...

On this beautiful morning

I've just finished an early morning feeding with Hanna. Too tired to go for my run, not tired enough to sleep. With cup of coffee in hand, I watch the sunrise across the Alberta prairies. I wonder what it was like for my mother to raise 4 girls in 5 1/2 years. WOW! And they didn't have diaper genies back then.

My eyes well with tears as I count my blessings.  I glance over at this quote hanging on my office wall accompanied with a baby photo:

This is our Purpose:
to make as meaningful as possible this life that has been bestowed upon us,
to live in such a way that we may be proud of ourselves,
to act in such a way that some part of us lives on.
- Oswald Spengler, German philosopher

I've always contemplated my life purpose, thinking it needed to be something grand.  This whole experience with Hanna gives new perspective to "purpose".  I am forever changed.

Like the lost little girl I saw in Walmart the other day said to her mom, "Mommie, I lost myself."

Sometimes I think we all need to lose ourselves--if only for a moment. Shed the fears and fantasies and awaken to something much greater. Something more real. Something more meaningful.

Modern day contraptions

  One walk down the baby aisle of Walmart or Toys R Us and you'll see there's no shortage of modern day baby contraptions.  Take our swing for example.  Fully equipped with lights, music and 4-way motion, it appears ready for take-off when you turn it on.  (And that's on speed 1 of 6!!!)

Hanna loves the fishies.  They entertain her when we need our hands free. But, of course, there's no replacement for a warm chest to lie against and loving arms to rub her back.

Our little furnace

Hanna's little furnace has kicked in over the last few days.  Days 1 and 2, she loved being swaddled up tight.  Now, she kicks the covers off and loves hanging out in just a diaper in the cool basement.

She also smiled when Oprah came on TV!

We went for our first doctor's appointment today and she is back up to her birth weight.  Must be all the yummy formula.  She's a great eater... and let's just say, she can rumble just as loudly as Brad.

Day 2 at home

Boy oh boy, Hanna is adjusting well.  She is incredibly content--a dream to care for.  We went into the office to say hi--her first trip to the bright lights and big city. She did well, but was happy to return home too.

Thanks for all the well-wishes.  We feel truly blessed to have such supportive friends and family (and the shock value for some of you was well worth it!)

P.S. Click on the photo to see a close-up.  She's a complete princess.

Welcome Baby Hanna

HOLY HANNA!  We've had a busy weekend!

At 12:27 pm on July 23rd, we were delighted to greet Hanna Lauren into this world.  She took her sweet time arriving, but the wait was worth it.  She weighed in at 8 lbs 4 oz, 22 inches long - unbelievable given how small the birth mom, Katie, was. 

She was the envy of the hospital nursery and had us tearful with joy!

We brought Hanna home yesterday and she had no problem getting comfortable in her new crib.  We are still pinching our skin!  How perfectly this family has come together.  Katie and Landon, we are blessed to have you in our lives and share this precious gift with you!

More details will follow in the coming days.  Stay tuned! 

(Mama needs  a nap!)

P.S. Read the recent posts to discover what the last month of our lives has been all about.

VERY EXCITING!

Hurry up and wait

The past two weeks have been all about hurry up and wait.  Since we got the news, we scrambled to buy all the baby essentials, wrap up our work commitments, get caught up on household chores...

But wait.  Where is baby Hanna? Taking her time, no doubt.

The due date has come and gone.  Yet, still no baby.

You can't put a timeframe on all things good.  There is a natural rhythm to the universe.  We know that.  So, after the mad rush, we've had time to relax and enjoy just the two of us.  We went to a movie, the Wedding Crashers, and laughed. We've gone out for dinner and enjoyed the simple pleasure of shared conversation. And, since we are missing our trip to the lake this summer, we brought the lake to us...

Lay out the beach towel, slip on the bathing suit and hang out on the deck (almost like the dock) and catch a fews rays.  Aaahh, it's all good.

We talked to the birth mom yesterday. She hasn't heard from the hospital yet as to whether they will induce her today or not.  We both conclude that it is  likely not until Monday. So, we plan a nice weekend. Off I go to my  fitness table class this morning.  I'm not sure how often I'll get there once the baby arrives.

But wait! The moment I walk into the Fitness Table, the instructor hands me the phone and says call home.  My heart drops. 

"Turn around and head home," Brad said.  "She's going into the hospital for 10 am."

So I hurry home.  Man my car drives like a race car. I'm hoping Brad will allow me a chance to take a shower before we head to Edmonton.  He is excited, I can tell.  But surprisingly calm. I get ready, we grab our car seat, diaper bag, personal bags...

Wait!  My sister said to pack snacks. So, we grab some munchies just in case we have a late night with no hospital cafeteria open.

Ok, hurry, let's go!

As we head out the door, the phone rings.  Wait, it's an Edmonton number. Let's answer it.

The birth mom's mom informs us that they are starting hormones for induction and then sending the birth mom home until contractions start. No sense coming right away.

So, we're back to waiting...

See what I mean?

Hurry up and Wait!!!

Hanna: What's in the name?

The name Hanna came to me in a dream. All I remember is that I was walking along the beach with a little girl and heard myself saying, "Come along Hanna."

At the time, I didn't know her to be my child.

But Hanna did.  (What you seek is seeking you.)

In April, I was finishing off the lyrics to a song I wrote nine years ago when my mom passed away. I could only remember part of the song, but wanted to finish it and sing it on the anniversary of her passing. I scoured my journals from the past decade hoping to find the lost lyrics. Nothing.

Then a friend said to me, "Maybe you are not supposed to find the lyrics.  Maybe it's time to write a new ending to the song."

(He's a wise friend...)

That weekend, I was traveling from Calgary to Saskatoon and I stopped at a gas station in small town Alberta.  As I stood in line to pay, I was captivated by three girls and their mother. Brimming with imagination, these girls were sharing with their mother that when stars twinkle, it is God winking at them. How precious.

There are certain conversations that we are just meant to overhear.  This was one of them... because in that moment, the ending to my song came to me.  It was an ending that looks out into the future.  You know, set your sights on the horizon and then let the wind blow you home.

Here's the lyrics  to my song.  I love this song as it travels the complete circle of life.  It begins with my childhood and ends with that of my daughter's.

By the way, the little town I stopped in for gas was Hanna, Alberta.

So imagine how amazed I was when the birthmom selected this name out of the handful I gave her. "I absolutely love this name, " she said.

Hanna had found her home.

Additional Meaning
Hanna also has family roots.  It combines the "H" from my mother's name (Helen) with the names of my husband's grandmothers (Anne and Ann).

Hanna is Hebrew for "grace of God".  In biblical times, the mother of the prophet Samuel asked God to bless her with a child, and her prayer was answered. Hence, the name literally means "God has graced me with a child."

Where the heart is

Hanna's Home is not a house with four walls, or a nursery painted morning sun yellow.
It is where the heart is--where love lives.

Yesterday my husband said to me, "I love this baby so much and she isn't even here yet."

"But, she is," I responded. "She arrived in our hearts a long time ago."

Everyone comments how lucky this child is to have parents like us.  We smile graciously.  Deep inside, we know we are the lucky ones.

Hanna, we can't wait to meet you. And take you home.